Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
