Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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