you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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