All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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