Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
