Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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