Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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