Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
