soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
