Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
