What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
