he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
