We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
