Already got asked if we're dating
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
