Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
