My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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