so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
