He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have already put on my inside pants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
