He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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