I am puke
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
