I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
