I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
