he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
