Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
even my farts smell like vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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