The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
