i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
