It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
