you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
