dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
