North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's never too late to be topless.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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