After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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