Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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