a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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