pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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