He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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