Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
