if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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