So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
