I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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