We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
