Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
