you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
