I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
