how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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