why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
