i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I pour the whiskey from now on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
