hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize