dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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