i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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