oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
